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Did I get tan or what?! Now I just need to get rid of the tan lines

Freaky-- but I do sleep this way

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On Second Thought

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Our Last

Full day in paradise that is...

I took the opportunity to try to even out my tan which meant some nice naked time on the chaise... I enjoyed this very much until it started to pour at which point my husband and children made fun of me... I don't care... it all felt wonderful. Yes my children are aware of my enjoyment of nakedness... they think I am a freak... But then they were going to do that anyway. The rest of the day was spent on the lanai in a sarong watching surfers of every variety and looking for whales... no luck today.. but I had some yesterday so I can't really complain.

As lovely as this whole trip has been and it has been tremendous (I hiked in a rainforest, swam in a mountain pool complete with waterfall, surfed and swam in the ocean, saw peacocks and mongoose, drank mai tais and wine and beer, had one of the best steak dinners of my life and got to sleep every night listening to the sounds of the ocean.) I have missed sex. We have been here 10 days. Before we left it was at least another 10. Masturbation is not cutting it. And as always no explanation from PK. Now he isn't tense.. he is just tired.

On the lighter side I saw this quiz at Visions of Crimson and thought it was funny:

You have a sexual IQ of 133 When it comes to sex, you are a super genius. You have had a lot of experience, and sex interests you so you know a lot about it. You pride yourself on being a source of information and guidance to all of your friends. Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

Aloha!

Hawaiian HNT 2

I have sufficiently recovered from jetlag enough to realize that it is Thursday back home... and so am taking the time to post what for me would be a really early HNT picture...

This one is a bit odd... just my knees... but these are my poor sad knees that survived my surfing lesson yesterday... They are sunburned, scraped by coral and whacked by the board a couple of times...

I never did get up on the board in any real way. I ended up too distracted by my girls' safety to really be able to concentrate(not to mention fat, uncoordinated and out of shape)... but eventually I got one hell of a ride (for me, anyway) after I finally managed to get my stomach on the board and was pushed into a wave!.. Aloha to the gals at Girls Who Surf for helping us out! They were terrific.

And Aloha to my HNT friends!

A report from paradise

Can I stay here forever? Tomorrow I am planning to learn to surf. But for today I am enjoying the sun and beach even though I body surfed up the coarse sandy beach when I got knocked down by a wave that I thought that I could outrun... dumb, dumb, dumb... The only problem was sand in uncomfortable locations.... the good news is that I got to use strip that sand away using the outdoor shower. This seems to be my own private place as no one else in the house will use it for any other purpose other than rinsing feet off. I stand on the dark volcanic rock in the warm water looking at the ocean and my private garden... the only trick is making sure I have proper cover from the bamboo spray that blocks my niche from the windows of our neighbors. I have never actually seen anyone there.. but I am being cautious... Naturally I have no pictures since I am shunned by all in the household... but I am sure that your imagination will be preferable to the reality anyway... Here are some pictures of the area though!

Aloha!

Late HNT

Damn, damn, damn... I was travelling all day yesterday and had no time to post... here is one from Waikiki!

What is a girl to do?

This is a little different from my regular posts but I think ultimately fits in with my basic beliefs about the world. I am, as you have probably guessed at this point, a woman of strong appetites. Generally in this setting I am talking about my sexual appetites but good food and drink fit in as well. I have a belief that a woman who is picky about what she eats... is going to be squeamish about anything else that she might be asked to put in her mouth.

I just finished reading an article in the Chicago Tribune about a major sushi fish provider that is (~ gasp ~) run by a guy with close ties to the Unification Church. Ach! What I am supposed to do now? Boycott sushi? And for what reason? Because it is helping to support "his controversial church".... Ok, I guess we should stop purchasing products from controversial churches... UM, which Church doesn't have it's controversies?

• Catholics? Child molesting priests and belief in a subservient role for women (oh, excuse me... that is a belief in women's natural roles... what ever those are)
• Baptists? They want to stop people from going to Disney Land because gay people go there and some of them think dancing is sinful
• Jews? They own Hollywood and the rest of the media (allegedly and as if I care)
• Mormons? Spent alot of time blowing stuff up around SLC for years... and then there are those polygamists
• Muslims? Some are anti-Israel and terrorists
• Hindus? Too many gods and new agey belief in reincarnation
• Buddhists? Too accepting of fate (Which is down right un-American)

Soooo let's see... No sushi, tabbouleh, tikka, pad siew, matzo ball soup, spaghetti, pralines and whatever mormons make and eat... I really don't know. The whole thing is pretty silly. The fact of the matter is that we have all depended on people of different faiths for food and other products. Did Europe only trade with Christians on the Silk Road? No! And their culture was richer for the spices and goods that were brought back. And maybe that will happen with the Moonies too (or whatever they prefer to call themselves).

On the plus side of the article, the quoted the owner of my favorite sushi restaurant and fishmonger...

Vacation Reading List...

For once.. La Famille du Lush will be going on a gen-u-ine vacation. Within 3 days I will be lying on a beach in Hawaii soaking up rays and mai tais...

Naturally, I will be trying to trying to tan sans lines but I am not going able to guarantee this outcome... I can guarantee I will have a fine selection of reading materials available to me:

Truth and Beauty, by Ann Patchett

Spice: The Hisory of a Temptation, by Jack Turner


The Canterbury Tales, by Geoffrey Chaucer (AND NO for you that know me... not in the original middle english... though I can recite the prologue if you wish....) (oh and not just the clean parts that they let us read in highschool)


Robbing the Bees by Holley Bishop (I am trying to gather information about apiaries... as a potential hobby or for profit... time will tell)

The Geographer's Library by Jon Fasman (actual unimportant fiction.... but it includes the word geographer... of which I am one by training, if you can believe it)


The Arabian Nights: Tales from a Thousand and One Nights with an Introduction by Sir Richard F. Burton.... (NO, not that Richard Burton... the one played by Patrick Bergin in Mountains of the Moon.. YES, I am that much of a geek)

Food in History by Reay Tannahill (Part of an on-going exploration... I have read books about Salt, Cod and Vanilla... now spices and generally food... yes, an on-going explanation as to why I am as big as a cow... )

Misquoting Jesus by Bart D. Ehrman... (yes, I like the hidden parts of christianity... I need explanations for my doubts and am looking everywhere)

Brokeback Mountain by Annie Proulx (yes, as a friend has pointed out this is available in an old copy of The New Yorker... (but I am an Philistine and don't get the New Yorker... so THERE! I have to buy my own copy.)

And finally, The Jesus Papers by Michale Balient.. Oh, bite me! I liked the daVinci Code too.. I love a good conspiracy theory.. and what could be bigger.. other than evolution/creationism.. and PLEASE! even the Pope says evolution happened...

How many will I finish? How many will I get bitched out for (my very Republican dad will be with me) No one knows! I will try to post my HNT Tomorrow (an old nipple shot, no doubt) until then I will bid you Aloha!

HNT--10

My nipple... without toys...

Trouble at La Maison

I'm a bit frustrated with the plumbing around here...

No, that isn't a veiled biological/sexual reference.. I really mean the plumbing.

As we get closer to the alleged date that the rehab on La Maison de Lush, the house has retaliated by falling down around us.. Now my beloved tub has abandonned me. No, I still can't get the thing to drain properly. Yes, it is driving me crazy and NO even the spongebath fantasy isn't working for me... (Mostly I think, because I realized that Alexander Godunov is dead.. and I have been unable to select a proper substitute... and frankly, I would prefer to forgo fantasy and have an ACTUAL man there watching me)

That being said, I mentioned to a friend my frustration with this latest snag in the house saga. The YMCA is not a good option, either as the women's locker room spews a luke warm dribble of water that makes the spongebath option look luxurious...

I mentioned the possibility of offering myself for sex in exchange for a decent, warm shower. It did not meet with much enthusiasm... I am hoping that is not a reflection on my person and more of him being in a sour mood....

Still, I do love the water... and I do love sex... and this would be the combination of these two things.... Stepping into a steamy bathroom... quietly stripping off my clothes and carefully pulling back the shower curtain to see my naked loved washing himself up in readiness.

Welcoming me into the shower, he reaches for me and pulls me against his hard, hot erection and begins to lather my breasts, working his way down my body until he gets to my pussy... He sinks to his knees to continue his work on my lustration, suckling my now rinsed nipples as rivulets of water stream over them. The sensation of water streaming over my body and his hands deep in my cunt, massaging my g-spot until I nearly collapse with the intensity of my orgasm. He stands up to help steady me and kisses me deeply, a kiss I break off as I sink to bottom of the tub and take his proud, hard cock into my mouth. Gliding my tongue around his shaft as my lips reach the base of his shaft. Hearing his loud groan, I look up to see him shake with desire. His hands hurriedly pulling me up, his voice urging me to brace myself against the wall as he quickly buries himself in my steaming hot body. We both groan at the joining and more so as he pumps his body in and out of me, reaching forward to squeeze my tits as he empties his hot cum deep in me.....

A girl can only dream, I guess...

Naughty crafts...

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago...I was dissatisfied with a toy that I had called Cleopatra's Nipple Secret...

Over all it was a great toy but really designed for a woman with smaller (or closer together) breasts. The problem was that the string of pearls between the two nipple nooses was too short so they kept pulling off my nipples instead of tingling them all day long...

So... after some thought, I considered trying to make something for myself....

This is the preliminary entre into the arena...

(Hey it took me a while to figure out how to tie the noose.. I will figure the rest of it out later... although I think this charm is of inadequate weight..... )

Ok...maybe they are ALL gone!

I finally got everyone out of the house this morning... whew.

Now I could take a bit of time fore me without having to call out the time and location of school uniforms or the list of things that PK needs done...

When I finally got a moment and after I sucked down a couple of cups of tea, I decided to wash up.

Due to the fact that this house is quickly disintegrating around us I now have no shower (due to the house design) AND now no tub due to... oh who the hell knows.... but it is resistant to all my attempts to unclog it and I refuse to call a plumber since I am supposed to be moving out for a rehab on May 1st. (NOTE: if I do NOT get to move out by then, I may go on some sort of homicidal rampage)

So there I am in my downstairs bathroom, taking a sponge bath like a fat, slutty version of Kelly McGillis in Witness (um...with bigger bosoms). As I feel the breeze of heat from the furnace begin to evaporate the water from my body I wish that there was tall, ruggedly handsome man around to stare at me with lust in his eyes.... (Alexander Godunov? Damn! I think he is dead... Harrison Ford? I have lost respect for him... Viggo Mortensen? Possible.... but not terribly tall... I think I can make it work...) Well I guess fantasy is all that I have today...