HNT-52

What to choose? Well, I looked at every picture of myself... and I look like hell... Not really taking many pix of myself this week as my schedule has become heavier.. having to drop Asha to the hospital as well as Thara to school. No rest for the wicked I guess... I just wish I had wickedness to be repenting for...It would certainly make me feel more even with the kharmic force in the sky, or Jesus or who the hell decides that I am completely screwed at the moment. Sigh.


Ok... I think that this one captures how I feel... Hope you all had a better week.

From the Mouths of Babes

Here is the poem that my daughter wrote me for Christmas:

Lie is full of risks.
Take all of them.
Or as much as you can.
If you don't take them,
You will regret it.

So take a chance.
Live your life as you want.
Or regret your life.
Take the risk.
Live your life now!

Sometimes that girl is so insightfull that it scares me.

Of course, this just made me miserable the rest of the day and got me into trouble when I refused to let go of a wrong done to me later on...

Sigh.

HNT-39

It's your fault you whore!

These are the words that I was assaulted with today.

What have I done to deserve this?

I used to work.. But I stopped because I was not able to deal with my responsibilities for the kids an those to my job given my husband's schedule. I did it for them.. And now I am called a whore.

And the worst is, I have the opportunities to fuck other men. I may be fat and old and ugly, but there are men that are still interested. I didn't fuck them today and I certainly don't charge for my services. I will give them away.... I would share. I am lonely and horny and begging to get a hundredth of what given to my family back in respect, love or companionship. Wouldn't that be better than being called a whore by a girl who fails two classes her first quarter of 6th grade and THEN fails two tests because she was caught cheating... and why the language? I removed her from the basketball team and cheerleading squad.

That will teach me.

Well someone out there seems to like me...

I spent a weekend dealing with sneering preteens who expected to be carted hither and yon, handed cash and the butt of their jokes. Oh, and did I mention that they are exploring new, exciting and inappropriate insults.

So I was really happy to see that my blog received a favorable rating from Jane's Guide.com. I have admired their reviews for years and was excited and proud to read that I wasn't the hack that I sometimes think I am in my head. I will wear my icon with pride!

Oh... and will someone please explain to my daughter that a whore charges for their sexual services... By definition, I am just a slut.

A new low

I am the one in the middle... at least I will win the race to skin cancer.

Yes...

My daughter was given a pamphlet today from her pediatrician.. who has taken care of her since she was an infink... (sorry to Popeye). The pamphlet was on monthly breast self exam.

She is so stacked that even he elderly pediatrician realizes that she is hot.

This is just adding to dilemna of how to deal with her hotness while still feeling like a vital woman.

Is this just a transitory feeling? Or do I have to adjust my world to except that I am on a lesser plain of womanhood. I would like to think that I used to be hot, but I doubt it.. I think had a certain level of cuteness though...

HNT-30

While I am unpacking the rental place I submit to you, the HNT public a photo taken by my youngest... I think she has some potential as a photographer....

Sex and the Pre-teen Daughter

or,

How to feel like a vital woman while standing next to your gorgeous, nubile and very young daughter.

I have been trying to find a way to handle it without feeling old and colorless and drab. But, alas that is exactly how I am feeling. I suppose it doesn't hurt that at her stage of puberty she is required to reject every aspect of me. And take emotional pot shots. Apparently, I am funny (not in a ha ha kind of way... more like weird), stupid, embarassing and over all useless. Oh, and I forgot... a lazy, disappointing slob.

I thought life with the PK was sucking me dry emotionally. This is now draining my soul.

Is this my fate? To become a non-entity?