I know what I am and what I want

No body has every accused me of having a sweet personality.

I am fat. I am opinionated. I swear like a sailor or any Brit that I have ever met. I can ocassionally drink like a fish. I admit to and relish in my baser needs and desires and indulge in them when I can. If you need help and I can give it to you, I will. I will put up with your bad moods because I figure you have had a bad day, or week, or month.

But

I am a woman who is tired of criticism from the people who claim to love me about how I don't live up to THEIR expectations of me.

If I say that I am staying with PK believe that is a decision that I have considered long and hard and it was made because my children have had too much tumult in their lives. I maybe occassionally miserable about it. But that is an absolute in my life. At least for the foreseeable future and by that I mean nearly a decade.

I don't want to be saved.

I don't want to be fixed.

I want to be appreciated for the flawed person that I am.

Not my perfected ideal.

My life is full of people who want to fix me so live up to their expectations of me. I don't need more.

I will take you at face value and accept you for the flawed person that you are... I want no less in return.

After a lovely day

Comes the crappy one....

Yesterday was Thera's birthday. We had a lovely time... took her to the village, bought her presents, had lunch out... time in the pool, out to dinner... it was all lovely

So naturally today everyone is irritated... and largely with me.

I won't take Thera to the previously scheduled trip to the wineries.. why? Gee, I don't know... maybe because she is 11 and will get bored.

And PK?

Well even though I am not interrupting any scheduled events, he is irritated that I am going to see friends tonight. Why? Probably because I have friends here. And he isn't invited... because I want something for myself.

Naturally, he has pronounced the entire event as dodgy...

Gosh, I hope so then!