Did you feel it?

Is there still a connection?

When I whispered your name while I touched myself I still felt a bond. The rush of euphoria that I came to associate with you.

Did you shiver as I called for you?

Or did you shudder with scorn at my weakness and inconstancy?

Afraid

I started this blog discussing how I was invisible.

Two years later... I am torn.

I am stuck between having the chance to be visible... living a life where I was seen and needed... and remaining invisible.

And I chose invisibility.

I am an idiot, this much is sure. But it is also due to what invisibility brings me....

My girls.

Who despite all, love me and need me. Do they need me invisible to help them achieve their maturity? I don't know... but it seems to be helping them.

can I live in this background? I don't know.. but I have to for now...

It is not a complete retreat... but I have realized that I can't make that big reach for happiness that I wanted. It is too early. I thought that I could and all that I have done is hurt others in the process.

And so I am retreating...

For now...

But I am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you... and I will miss you... forever.