Here is a bizarre question

What do you do when you think that your daughter (age 12) has been exposing some of your most private possessions to her early/preteen friends?

That was in your bathroom drawer...

Where she should never be.

Do you confront her? Or just suck it up as curiousity by the young'uns?

Frankly, I am not embarrassed to have sex toys... on the contrary, I celebrate having them. But she is 12. And her friends are close to the same age. And not all of their parents share my values. (i.e. they may be good Catholic prudes, or even aetheist prudes)

and most important...

IT IS A VIOLATION OF MY PRIVACY and I am at of the food chain in this house!

--Added Note--

Well, that was a tremendous waste of my time.

Sure, confront the girl and what will she do? Well besides lie through her teeth, she will create a fuss to get her father pissed off at me. Not a mean feat, but an annoying one.

See, without me around, they all had a lovely weekend. And now that I was home... well, the Porn King didn't have to say it, but it was clear that I had ruined all of that.

Never mind that I was not responsible for this difficulty. That I wasn't yelling. That it was my privacy that was violated and I was being lied to (apparently she was lingering in my bathroom with her smirking friend because she was getting a brush that she stuck down the back of her pants even though my brush was about eight inches long and two inches wide... a piece of cake to hide in a size 2's shorts).

It is all my fault that there was screaming right before dinner.

Let the Playing Begin!

Here are the wonderful toys that I got from Always Aroused Girl at the Personal Blogging Session at BlogHer07!

I can't wait to get started with them and be able to report back on how much I enjoy them....

I suppose in all fairness to the toys I should try them out alone first so that I am not distracted by a hands and lips that may excite me further (wow, doesn't that sound like there are a pack of men volunteering to help me break these babies in!)

I am particularly looking forward to feeling the cool smoothness of the NJoy Fun Wand. I am getting wet just thinking about where I should use it first.... or maybe in combination with the thick, pink dildo....

Ok... I may swoon...

Sorry to say that there will likely be no photos of me testing out my swag... I am talented but not talented enough to grow and extra set of arms to work the camera too... (Does that sound like I am a trolling for assistants? Sorry, baby...)

Thanks again to AAG! It was great to hear you speak and to chat with you afterwards.... even if I did sputter like an idiot!

Wholly Cripe!

Wait until you see the cool swag I got for attending a sex blogger session!

I would show you all me using it, but I would be blushing wildly!

-- Added Note --

Goofy me failed to note that the fabulous goody bag came to me courtesy of AAG who I actually met! Ok, mostly I sputtered like an idiot, but you get the idea....

But definitely a huge THANKS! to AAG!

Masturbation Month!

In celebration of Masturbation Month, Early to Bed, the women owned sex-toy shop in Chicago is sponsoring a haiku contest...

Here are my modest attempts:

Breeze over my skin
Fingers nimble on my flesh
Fire explodes, sun still

Gently cushion me
While my skin beckons forth, my
Self, soul, soft covers

Beneath my hot touch
Exciting the flames of cold
Nipples desiring

Enjoying my self
Wet, quiet, wildly pulsing
Curves, Lushly Me

My tangy goodness
Spreading through my body, taste
And touch, all for me


Visit their blog and add your own entries!





Reclining Nude
David Riedel
1995