Here is a bizarre question

What do you do when you think that your daughter (age 12) has been exposing some of your most private possessions to her early/preteen friends?

That was in your bathroom drawer...

Where she should never be.

Do you confront her? Or just suck it up as curiousity by the young'uns?

Frankly, I am not embarrassed to have sex toys... on the contrary, I celebrate having them. But she is 12. And her friends are close to the same age. And not all of their parents share my values. (i.e. they may be good Catholic prudes, or even aetheist prudes)

and most important...

IT IS A VIOLATION OF MY PRIVACY and I am at of the food chain in this house!

--Added Note--

Well, that was a tremendous waste of my time.

Sure, confront the girl and what will she do? Well besides lie through her teeth, she will create a fuss to get her father pissed off at me. Not a mean feat, but an annoying one.

See, without me around, they all had a lovely weekend. And now that I was home... well, the Porn King didn't have to say it, but it was clear that I had ruined all of that.

Never mind that I was not responsible for this difficulty. That I wasn't yelling. That it was my privacy that was violated and I was being lied to (apparently she was lingering in my bathroom with her smirking friend because she was getting a brush that she stuck down the back of her pants even though my brush was about eight inches long and two inches wide... a piece of cake to hide in a size 2's shorts).

It is all my fault that there was screaming right before dinner.

Let the Playing Begin!

Here are the wonderful toys that I got from Always Aroused Girl at the Personal Blogging Session at BlogHer07!

I can't wait to get started with them and be able to report back on how much I enjoy them....

I suppose in all fairness to the toys I should try them out alone first so that I am not distracted by a hands and lips that may excite me further (wow, doesn't that sound like there are a pack of men volunteering to help me break these babies in!)

I am particularly looking forward to feeling the cool smoothness of the NJoy Fun Wand. I am getting wet just thinking about where I should use it first.... or maybe in combination with the thick, pink dildo....

Ok... I may swoon...

Sorry to say that there will likely be no photos of me testing out my swag... I am talented but not talented enough to grow and extra set of arms to work the camera too... (Does that sound like I am a trolling for assistants? Sorry, baby...)

Thanks again to AAG! It was great to hear you speak and to chat with you afterwards.... even if I did sputter like an idiot!

Wish I could do that!

There is a woman here at BlogHer that can orgasm while using a treadmill!

That would sure as hell encourage me to work out!

Anyone have any ideas on how that can be done?

Wholly Cripe!

Wait until you see the cool swag I got for attending a sex blogger session!

I would show you all me using it, but I would be blushing wildly!

-- Added Note --

Goofy me failed to note that the fabulous goody bag came to me courtesy of AAG who I actually met! Ok, mostly I sputtered like an idiot, but you get the idea....

But definitely a huge THANKS! to AAG!

So I missed HNT

But I made it to BlogHer!

I am here right now enjoying my first session on Digital Exhibitionists...
Which I think sums me up for these purposes...

We are discussing the questions of honesty

And that makes me wonder. Since I know that I am not being totally honest with you my readers... in part because I am protecting what I have in my life. Facing the ultimates truths in my life might make have to make changes.

I learned a couple of things:

a. There are more one legged cats out there

b. Art is in the selecting of what we say v. the whole truth

c. We have a responsibility to ourselves to keep ourselves safe and whole

How naked do we need to be?

Do people want to know more?

To know more of my secrets?

d. Our stories are important as a way document our lives and our era.

Yummy!

This has been an obsession this week.




Sex on the beach.







Ever since I saw this symbol appear on Asha's Facebook page... Yes that is a virtual cocktail sent to my preteen. Oddly enough I had never had one before. And today, I received my opportunity.. at lunch of all places. While eating I played the trivia game that they have in the restaurant... it is called Buzz Time. (ironic, I know)

In between rounds the screen stated that the house would award you a free drink if you could beat their "Champion's" high score.

Which I promptly did.

Naturally, I had to order the elusive sex on the beach.

It was delicious. But I don't know if it was the drink or the sweet taste of victory.

HNT-68

I don't know why I have chosen this image this week....

It certainly doesn't emphasize my less than stellar housekeeping skills... But this is how I feel about my life lately.

I make an effort. In this case, Mickey Mouse pancakes... which I did free hand... not from some mold (I know... not exactly a trick... stilll) and this is how it is received.

I have been told that I am like a butterfly... just waiting to emerge... I think I need to stay in my chrysalis a bit longer on days like this...

Sun burn, my ass!

Or why I should be allowed to sunbathe in the nude.

Like I am hurting anyone? Please.

But there I was up on my private porch taking a nap. Naked.

Oh ok the loser neighbors did come outside. But they can't see me. I am on the wrong side of the dinette roof. The only way anyone else can see me is if their vision is incredible. They are looking up and squinting to see the slats on the porch.

I am being careful. Staying low to the floor. Not attracting a lot of attention.. Not making any noise.

But out he comes. The Porn King. To inform me that I am getting sunburned. That my face is red. Ironically, my face is the part of my body that I cover! So I don't get it too sunburned. It is exposed to the sun more than the rest of my body.

I know when he is just embarrassed of me. and I am getting sick of it.

HNT-67

Oops.. I missed last week... Something about the inlaws hanging over my shoulder at every opportunity...

This is our current obsession this week, and for the next entire week really.

No, not the criminally insane...

Those of you in the know will recognize this institution as the place that Harry Potter's relatives, The Dursley's tell the neighbors that Harry is sent to during the school year.

Of course, I wouldn't mind finding some criminally bad boys... if you know what I mean!

Electricity

Running down my fingers

and out my toes

which when touched, made my body twitch uncontrollably

even into the night.


The rain and storms have passed

but my body is still tingling

shivering from the undischarged energy

Could I handle more?


I look forward to finding out

The Fate of Women

Is it our fate to be judged, not on our accomplishments?

Our thoughts, our deeds

Who we care for

How we show our love

The Power we wield


or


denigrated for what we lack

our errors, our faults, our flaws.


Of course, if you are reading this, you are scoffing and saying,

"No, we don't do that!"

"We are so much more advanced than that"


But you are wrong.

and here is the proof:

Mummy Reveals Egyptian Queen Was Fat, Balding and Bearded By Meredith F. Small

Hatshepsut was fat and bald,from the Times of India

Yup.

Here we are, nearly 3,500 years after her death and what are we discussing? Her buildings? policies? Why she systematically removed from the annals of history? No.

She was fat and bald.

Not a great queen who ruled in her own right in a time when women were seen and not heard.

But a joke.

because fat is funny.

What hope is there for the rest of us when we are judged this way?

Alone

Nude - 4
Diana Ong








With my family

I am alone.

I exist only as an image, an ideal

The real me

a disappointment

to be scoffed at and belittled.


Where are you?

When bad things happen to good phallus

I was saddened to read this article today, but more surprised to hear that the cause was not associated with global warming. But was glad to hear that the lingam for Parvati and Ganesha are intact.

Hindu Shrine's Icy Stalagmite Melts

- - - - - - - - - - - -

By AIJAZ HUSSAIN Associated Press Writer

July 02,2007 | SRINAGAR, India -- A naturally formed stalagmite in a Kashmiri mountain shrine has melted away, officials said Monday, blaming body heat from the hundreds of thousands of Hindu pilgrims who visit each year.

For over 200 years, Hindus have worshipped the stalagmite, called a lingam, as an incarnation of the Lord Shiva, the Hindu god of destruction and regeneration. Its size has fluctuated in previous years -- ranging from 5 to 12 feet tall -- but the it has never before disappeared entirely.

"One of the main reasons for its melting is the conduction of body heat of the huge crowds at the formation," said Shakeel Ahmed, who heads Geology and Geophysics Department at the University of Kashmir.

He also blamed the helicopters that deposit pilgrims near the mountain cave and generators powering light bulbs.

"There will be some disappointment for the pilgrims as the main lingam has completely melted," said Arun Kumar, a top official of the Amarnath Shrine Board, which manages the pilgrimage.

Officials say at least 400,000 devotees are expected to make the 10-mile trek from the nearest village to the Amarnath shrine, in a mountain cave 13,500 feet above sea level that is topped with a glacier. Pilgrims leave offerings of flowers, coins and paper money inside the cave.

Chanting hymns and ringing bells, the first group of nearly 12,000 pilgrims on Sunday began the journey amid tight security against Islamic militants. However on Monday, government has again suspended the pilgrimage because of heavy rains en route the cave shrine.

Muslim rebels who have been fighting for decades with India over Kashmir accuse Hindu-majority India of using the pilgrimage as a political statement to bolster its claim over the Himalayan region.

Fuck

yeah.

That is what I said.

I am fucking sick and tired of being understanding and kind when the people that I deal with on an everyday basis suck. What they suck I will leave to your's and their imagination.

Can someone make me feel better about the sink hold of reality that I find myself in?

Please?

I promise to make it worthwhile for you....

Or as much as a fat whore like myself can manage.

Testing the Lounge Chair...

On a lovely summer Sunday afternoon...

The sun was lovely on my pale flesh as was the breeze blowing over my nipples...

Now if I could just stop worrying about being caught naked on my porch, I could enjoy it more.