Something is going to hit the fan

Maybe I just that a second sense when bad things are going to happen, or maybe it was inevitable.

My MIL is sick.

Really sick. Like they found lung cancer and are still looking at her liver sick and getting her a new mammogram. I did some research. Which is the way I deal with anticipated trouble. I don't like to be taken by surprise any more than I have to.... but it turns out that lung cancer can be secondary to liver cancer... and they are sure that there is something wrong with her liver given the blood work that they have drawn already. Which means advanced cancer...

Before I did this checking, PK was sitting at the breakfast bar and telling me about what he had learned about the test results that day... "A lot of this is going to fall on me," he told me, "Because you know what emotional cripples my folks are... and they are already scared".

And that scares the living shit out of me.... because if he is the emotional tower of strength in that family... this is going to be really, REALLY bad. He has closed me out of his emotional life and stopped communicating with me when he started the business... what the HELL is going to happen when having to deal with his mother dying.

I have offered to help in anyway that I can... I am not going to say anything about what I found out, because really, we won't know for sure until the tests of complete... Maybe it is just lung cancer and cirrhosis or fatty liver syndrome (because that is the best option here) but one way or another this could very well be the final slowly hammered in nail on the coffin of this marriage... I can't be closed out further.

But I am glad that before the shit hit the fan, my girls at least a short period of peace.

You must be joking

I couldn't believe it when I heard it last night...

PK: "Maybe over the next day or so, we could have sex?"

What?

Me: "For the last week, at every opportunity to let me know that I am lazy, stupid, vindictive and ugly ... and that was FOREPLAY?

Um... let me think.

NO!"

Was that the end of it?

No, this morning I got the caress that usually accompanies the request for not quite awake sex...

PK: "Want to fool around?"

I thought to myself, "Didn't you understand me last night? NO."

Me: "Yesterday, you treated me as if I were an idiot incapable of dressing herself, Monday you told me to get over a wrong you did me that you never even tried to correct and Sunday, while you were sitting on your ass watching football, you complained that I was holding you up by taking to long to cook... Oh and I made you dinner that night too..." "Why would any of these things lead me to want to make love?"

PK: "Well you tell me when things don't look good on me"

Me: "When you ask for my opinion... Your's was unsolicited"

PK: "You would want me to tell you the truth!"

Me: "Why can you only hurt my feelings and make me feel lower than dirt when you 'tell the truth'?"


Good thing we are make progress in communication, eh?

Well it is official

At least according to Dr. Gail Saltz and Dr. Drew Pinsky...

They have designated my marriage as sexless...

Luckily I am in really good company as according to them, up to 20% of marriages are like mine. The good news is that there is a solution. It is called communication.

Oops. There is the problem. When I communicate my feelings, I am accused of dumping on him. So I stopped. And I wait. But nothing improves.