Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Just a question...

Can you GPS your family?

How much porn do you need to hide from your wife to be considered a freak?

If you have so much porn why don't you want want to have sex more than once a month?

Sorry... just randoms questions that have crossed my mind today

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

HA!

Talked to Mom to get an idea of what is going on over the weekend... Dad is off Monday, so that is the day for the family get together. As she asked, how things were which started me on a diatribe of how things suck lately. When I told her about Kevin's comments last night you could practically hear the cringe. Yup... she agrees that was completely unacceptable.

She thinks that I should go back to work to at least get some respect there. But that just creates more problems for me. since my working has always been viewed as my silly hobby... something that can be dropped whenever someone else in the family wants something from me. She remembers feeling much better about life when she got back to work. Of course, she has forgotten that she could rely on me to help out around the house. And of course, I don't have that.

My kids have learned from their father that I can and should be worked around. They have learned if they don't get what they want, it is because of me. Daddy was willing to give them whatever they wanted. But now he just has to back me up our of... well I would say loyalty but since he has really gone our of his way to let them know who is responsible for them not getting their way, that doesn't really seem appropriate.

She assures me that this is all normal and the way of all marriages and parenting arrangements. And it probably is the way we have had to deal with things. But why should we enjoy this or even want to do things this way.

Her concern is that I am in some sort of victim mode. But the truth is, I haven't yet figured out how to deal with it.

I will.

The question is how others will react to it.

Respect

R E S P E C T

Find out what it means to me!

Or maybe what I don't this is respectful. Case in point, older child was not going to sleep. Her computer was on and she had a DVD playing... It was 10:30 pm. I went in to her room, turned off the computer, turned off her light (left her night light on) and returned to my room. That solves the problem, right?

Or maybe it creates an entirely new one. See, older child likes to sleep with the light on. Turning off the main light was punitive on my part, and frankly, it was meant to be... It said, "You have pushed too far. There are limits. Here is the line".

She came into our room to complain. I gave my standard, "Tough luck, hopefully you learned a lesson," response. But that was when she got the real lesson. Hubby, irritated by the stalemate pointed out to the older child that all she really needed to do was "appear" to comply. After all, I would probably be asleep in 10 minutes anyway. Then she could proceed to do as she pleased.

In my book, I call that undermining me. Apparently, he was pointing it what she would already know since she is a "smart" girl... Getting smarter too. Now she clearly understands there is no reason to respect me. Even Daddy doesn't.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Death by 1,000 Cuts?

Can you kill a marriage this way? I am beginning to think so.

Hubby won a big contract that he has been working on for the last two years. I decided to prepare a special dinner for him to celebrate. I ran out, picked up the food stuffs. Got the kids organized and fed and started in on the prep for dinner. Along the way, I called him to check on his arrival time. 7:00 pm I was told. “Really,” I asked, “Can I rely on you?” 7:00 pm was a firm time I was assured.

Arrival times have been just one of the issues that cause trouble around the house here lately. He seems to be coming and going at will these days. It’s all for the best of reasons. It’s all for the company and therefore for the family. Except, I am not sure that this is true. He likes what he does. He likes the people that he does it with. I can see where this would be more interesting than dealing with stuff around here. The kids, the house and even I are not necessarily the ego boost to him that we could be. On the other hand, is that what a family is for? I am certainly not getting those kinds of warm fuzzies from my household duties and no one seems concerned.

If it is a question of wanting separate lives just say so. But currently, this idea seems to involve him doing has he pleases and me holding the fort. Our family is scheduled around what the kids need and what he needs to do for the “business”. Dinner and drinks with friends hardly seems a sacrifice. But that is business. Handling chores around the house, dealing with homework or other kid-related duties, even sex with me all need to be scheduled around his fluid schedule. It’s all for the greater good of the family and I should be more understanding.

In the meantime, back at the home front, I finished steaming the fresh artichokes, making the parslied potatoes and cooking the rack of lamb. I had brownies with gelato and berries for dessert. The wine is chilling. The kids are fed, homework is done, chores have been finished, teeth brushed and pajamas are on. He entered the house at 7:30. Late again. But there was a good reason for it!

Yes, I know.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Dirty Haiku

Silly, I know, but I saw my kids having to write poems in school a while ago. When they wanted help, I told them that the only type of poem that I remembered how to write was a haiku which I liked because they didn't have to rhyme or even make sense... of course, I failed to tell them that my favorite type of haiku to write was a dirty haiku! Why shock them?

Kissing his hard cock
Sucking his sweet hot cum
Needing more and more

Skin hot warm and smooth
Touching my aching hot flesh
Begging for release

Loving your spicy taste
Warm, creamy and all mine
Part of you for me

Love his magic touch
Hands roaming over myself
Sweet skin electrifying

Grinding touching moving
Toward an unseen moving goal
Making me soar higher

His hard long cock swells
In my dripping wet pussy
Making me moan loudly

Love

I was thinking of some people we saw at mini golf on Sunday... They were an older couple, probably in their sixties. I saw them as were teeing up. They were a couple of holes ahead of us. I assumed that their grandkids were running ahead of them. Which was exactly what my kids were trying to do. I would see them everyonce in a while but got busy dealing with each kiddie crisis that developed. And yes, you can have a mini golf crisis. The kids would go crazy if the other one would win her "favorite" hole. Combine that with the golf lessons that I was getting from Tiger hubby, it was a fun morning.

When we finally finished, we are heading down the stairs: disgruntled girls, over-excited hubby (he was the big winner) and me. I was trying to scurry the kids passed all the games that give out those ridiculous that can be turned in for cheap plastic toys. And then I see them. That couple. They were playing air hockey and laughing away. And I realized that they didn't have any grandkids with them. They were just there, hanging out and having fun together.

Made me wonder if hubby and I could be like that in 25 years. I somehow doubt that. He doesn't much like spending time with me now. He makes phone calls when I am talking to him. We can only do the things that he wants to do. That doesn't really lend itself to the happy ever after that I saw.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Another lost weekend

Well it's late in the afternoon already. And if someone doesn't touch me I might explode! I guessed Friday night would come to nothing... dinner out with the kids... it often sucks all romantic urges out of a person. And I was right, of course.

Saturday night held more promise... early dinner with friends... the food was good... I got some strange drink that was allegedly a MaiTai... but I have never seen such a pink one in my life... but it was tasty and I enjoyed. The restaurant we went to was a mixture of chinese and japanese food... I had the garlic eggplant and bummed sushi from some of the guys. Conversation was awkward... we were out with friends that are working their way back to each other... but along the way one of the guys accused me of making out with his partner! It's hard not to think of that whenever we are together... and, NO, I didn't do it!.. that whole mess though is a story for another day.

We got home relatively early, played Scrabble with the little one... with me helping her... as a result, hubby won, since I screwed myself out of some good points in her favor. Next up was tv... Alien planet was showing on the Discovery Channel... very cool.. you should definitely check it out. http://dsc.discovery.com/convergence/alienplanet/splash.html It was an amalgam of the imagination of artists, scientists and the magic of tv. I made popcorn for the girl and hubby and then waited for her to poop out. NO LUCK!

The little one wanted to spend more time with Mommy and Daddy so she was invited into our room to watch more tv... Two seconds later, both she and hubby were out like a light! It was sweet, her little face still looks angelic when she sleeps... AWWWW

But where is my hot, wet bedroom action?! Blech!

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Friday, May 13, 2005

She doubled checked the message on her phone... Number 310. As she got out of the car, she straightened her dress. It was a favorite of hers. It was a brown jersey dress that was wrapped low and clung to her full breasts. She knew that she looked good when she wore it and that gave her confidence. The fact that men always took notice of her certainly helped. Normally she felt invisible in public. Not that this she was concerned about that now. She looked down the hallway checking numbers… 320, 318,16… Finally she was there.

She rapped on the door quickly and turned the nob and entered. The light was low but she could see him. Her lover. He was laying on the bed waiting for her. He watched her intently as she closed and locked the door behind her. “Hey baby!” he drawled as she set down her purse. “I have been waiting for you but decided to get more comfortable.” “Not too comfortable, I hope,” she purred, “otherwise you might not need me!” “Baby, you know that I always need you. And it has been so long since we have been together.” “It’s been way too long,” she replied, “And I haven’t been touched in an age”. “I know baby, but it has given me the chance to think about what to do when I saw you again,” he replied with a mischievous gleam in his eye.

He rose from the bed and made his way over to her. Reaching up, he pulled her hair out of its barrette, low across the nape of her neck and splayed his fingers through her dark tresses. Then he lowered his lips to hers and pressed them warmly into hers. Auuughh, I have missed you, he groaned.. “Not as much as I have missed you,” she replied as she wrapped her arms around him. The second their bodies touched they were on fire. Her hands slid up over his hot skin until she could run her fingers over silky short hair. “You are going to mess my hair up,” he said smiling. “Oh, I think you will survive,” she retorted. He reached up and pulled her hands downward, “I have something else that needs stroking”. “Ahhhh yes, baby!” she moaned. “You are so hard and ready for me.” “But you aren’t,” he muttered, “You have too many clothes on”.

He reached for the ties of her dress at her hip and gently pulled it open. The dress opened to reveal her bounteous breasts bulging out of her plunging red bra and matching lacy panties. His lips curled into a slow smile, “It’s like opening a present!” “Just for you,” she purred, “I know how much you like gifts”. “It’s not the gifts, it’s the unwrapping,” he claimed as his hands cupped her breasts and he lowered his head to kiss the cleft between them. She leaned in closer to giver him greater access as he reached into her bra and lifted first one hard nipple to his mouth, then another. His tongue swirled around each hard bud in turn, making her moan loudly. “You like that, do you?”he murmured. “You know that I do,” groaned into his ear, “Now what can I do for you to make you happy?” “You are doing it lover,” he crooned, “Now let me help you out of these”.

He slid his hands behind her back and unsnapped her bra and slid if off her shoulders. “Almost ready,” he was smiling. Now his hands slid down her curves to the waistband. “Now we just have to get rid of these,” he growled, “Then you are mine!”

Stripped of the remainder of her clothes, he backed her up towards the bed and gently laid her on it and followed her down. He then proceeded to kiss her intensely as he explored her body with his hot searching fingers. “Jesus, I have missed you, “ he groaned, “You taste soooo sweet”. She wrapped her hands around his hard cock and heard him groan. “Oh baby……”

“You like that, darling?” she crooned. “You know that I do… I just need more”. She backed him toward the bed as she continued to stroke his hard length. When he reached the edge, she pushed him gently backwards. As he fell backwards, she sank in front of him on the floor. “What are you doing?” he groaned. She slid between his legs and replaced her hand with her soft, wet lips. An unintelligible sound emanated from deep within him. She swirled her tongue around him. His cock swelled within her. She smiled as she began to slide her tongue up and down his hard shaft.. The silky skin covering erection was stretched taut across his thick veins. “oh baby… you are sooo hard for me”. She run increased the speed of her tongue up and down his hardness. As she reached the tip of his swollen head she could taste the sweetness of his body that welled up at the point of his essence. She tasted it gingerly, inhaling its sultry sweetness.

He could hear her breathing in his scent. The sound of her wet slavering over his stiff cock made him harder than he could have imagined. His hardness buoyantly jutting into her hot, soft mouth, caressed by her wet velvety tongue. She moaned as she tasted his excitement bead at the tip of his throbbing head. “I can taste how much you want me,” she whispered, “I have needed you so much. Give me more!”

“My love, I can’t stand it any more,” he exclaimed gutterally, “I need to be in you!” He pulled her onto the bed beside him and rolled her onto her back. In an instant, his lips met hers and his hands began to fondle her soft flesh working their way downward. As he reached below her bellybutton, her hips raised up to meet him. As she writhed beneath his touch, his fingers slid through the springy curls that guarded her womanly hub. His fingers glided wetly through the soft folds to reach her sensitive center and began to gently swirl around the hooded nub of flesh.

He knew how much pleasure he was giving her by watching the way she twisted beneath his hands. “That’s it baby!” he breathed, “Just let go”. She looked into his eyes and saw his love and desire shining in them. She could feel the tension building within her and knew that that the moment was drawing nearer. She slid her hands up and held his face tenderly while she kissed his soft lips passionately. They continued straining together until he reached between them and pinched her taut nipple. At that moment she screamed as she exploded around him, crying his name as she tried to meld his body with hers. Her eyes shut briefly but then opened to see his triumphant smile. “Yes my love, its all for you, he whispered.

His fingers slowed as he allowed her to catch her breath. Her skin was electric with intensity and she shivered with uncontained bliss as his hands roamed her sensitive belly and thighs. His kiss soft and gentle on her lips and neck. As he made contact with the mounds of her breasts, both of their breathing quickened. He suckled at one tight nipple then the other intensifying the throbbing in her womb. His fingers glided through her wetness and slid home into her lush dark core. Her juices poured out over his hand as he slid in and out of her.

At once her body became alive with need. His thumb massaged the sensitive bud while his fingers thrust deep into her. Her body thrashed with uncontained ardor. The pleasure was devastating her and she was only half-surprised to hear herself begging him to end this torment. “Not yet, my love, but soon,” her crooned into her ear.

When she thought that she might go mad with the irresistible ecstasy that he was giving her she reached her hand down to touch her wetness, then reached out to stroke his swollen member.

His self control broke and he was like a wild man. He slid hot and deep into her waiting body. She smiled at the look of rapture that emerged across his handsome features. Their eyes met and like their bodies connected to continue on their voyage to paradise. Each murmured wordless encouragements to the other as they strained in unison to reach some unseen pinnacle that seemed just out of reach. For long moments they drank each other in. Arms and legs and mouths tangled together. His body grew hotter as he thrust rhythmically into her wet core. He watched her face and knew that she was near the limit. Her muscles were tightening around him. He reached down between then to touch that hub of sensitivity between her legs. “Look at me,” he commanded. She opened her eyes to look deep into his. Her orgasm began to crest with the intensity of the sensation and emotion he was stirring in her. “I love you,” he whispered as the wave of sensuality swept over her.

He absorbed her screams of joy with his kiss and delighted in the spasms engulfing her body. As he continued his drive into her warmth he felt the moist gush of her pleasure pour between them. His pace increased as he felt her arms and legs and lips continue to hunger for him. As her shudders began to slow her felt her body continue to vibrate around his now scalding organ. A fierce possessiveness overtook him as his body inched toward its goal. He kissed her forcefully, held her face close to his as he began to shudder with his release. “You belong to ME!,” he growled as he exploded deep within her womb “MINE”.

“Yes,” she crooned, “Yours… all yours”. She watched with wonder as he poured himself deep within her body, “We belong to each other”. When the last swell of ecstasy faded, he collapsed in exhaustion. She held him to her and kissed him tenderly. “I love you so much,” she murmured breathlessly, “I am yours forever.” They gently embraced each other as their hearts and panting slowed to normal.

The urge to touch and kiss continued as they dressed. As she began to retie her dress he edged up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed the nape of her neck as fondled her breasts and caressed the soft skin of her belly. “I hope that I have filled you with my child,” he whispered, “But I think I will enjoy trying again!” He turned her toward him and helped her finishing dressing. As they walked toward the door, they stopped and shared one last lingering kiss, then walked out into the brilliant sunshine.

Lushly me Posted by Hello

What am I doing?

Just posting the inner thinkings of one of those invisible women that you see everyday but never seem to notice.

I am not the hot chick in the mall with 4 teenagers trailing after and two grown men ogling her... I am your best friend's wife, the mother of your daughter's school chum. Part of the background of life and yet alive and vital, needing to be touched and needed.

This is my place to express those desires and needs... Hope you enjoy them and reach out to the invisible women surrounding you...