How stupid am I?

Apparently not smart enough to pick out an outfit on my own.

This is the outfit that I picked out for myself today... Surprisingly they were items picked out by PKs parents.

Of course, PK decided that I looked like a little old lady getting on the plane when you are in a hurry... You know the type? She and her husband of 80 years are wearing matching sweatsuits...

I am so tired of being treated like an idiot who is incapable of the simplest acts. I was online with a friend when the order to change my clothes came in. The questions that I got?

Will it cause a fight if I don't change: yes
Is it worth the fight? I don't know? What level of identity remains to me? If I am not deemed capable of dressing myself is there really any pointing in trying to pretend that I am a human grownup? What is next?

And what is the point of changing? Because he will find me more attractive? Hardly. That is an issue as dead as my self-esteem these days.

So what do I do? stay and be an idiot? or leave and be the same idiot with half the money and 4 times the pressure.

Do I pray for my husband's early demise so that hopefully I will be left as a widow with the basis to get back on her feet? And really what good will that do me? Since chances are he is driving me to an early grave. And then I will just be alone anyway. Left to suffer the fate I anticipate for myself... left to die alone and found 3 days later my brain having liquified and poured out of my nose and ear cavities and left as carrion for the dog, cat and flies to feast on...

Choices, choices...