Monday, September 25, 2006

How to tame a putz

Well.. let's see we are about three weeks into the construction project at my house... you know... the half-nekkid one... and already my next door neighbor's son has called the cops twice and daily harrasses the workers at the job site.

Today's incident was while the guys were taking down the roof...and the putz started screaming at them to them again. Charming. Let's distract the guy 25 ft in the air because his position is the most stable...

PK is trying to figure out how we are supposed to handle him. But the problem is that this schmuck hates us because even though we have a completely screwed up marriage and family situation at the moment, we still ultimately have a life. We have a house. We have kids. PK has a career. The putz probably even thinks that I have a cushy situation being alone 90% of the time but responsible for the care and keeping of everyone and everything within the household 100% of the time. Maybe he even thinks we have regular sex...

Naturally the putz has none of these things. He is 35 years old. Lives with his dad. Works with his dad. Has no visible girlfriend. Spends all of his free time either not wearing his shirt in the backyard drinking beer and playing The Grateful Dead over and over.. (think I am joking... ask my kids to sing 'Trucking" for you...) or....

He sits on his front porch, with or without his shirt, drinking beer and smoking, letting his dog crap in my front yard and run loose (tormenting my pooch) and glaring at us as we come and go in the course of our living our lives...

Now the one thing that everyone agrees on that we have discussed this problem with, is that this goon should go and get laid. I agree. However as I have pointed out for those that who have not seen the lad that is hard for a grungy, bushy, uneducated twit who lives in flannel and appears not to shave, shower or wash his clothes frequently to find a woman who will do him.

God knows that that I am not going to volunteer.

I am hoping that the general contractor just tells the tradesmen coming onto the jobsite to ignoring the rantings of the loser next door.

1 comment:

Sunny Delight said...

this makes me so very glad I don't have neighbors....maybe after a few beers he could 'accidently' fall into a neighbors pool and drowned? :)