Death by 1,000 Cuts?

Can you kill a marriage this way? I am beginning to think so.

Hubby won a big contract that he has been working on for the last two years. I decided to prepare a special dinner for him to celebrate. I ran out, picked up the food stuffs. Got the kids organized and fed and started in on the prep for dinner. Along the way, I called him to check on his arrival time. 7:00 pm I was told. “Really,” I asked, “Can I rely on you?” 7:00 pm was a firm time I was assured.

Arrival times have been just one of the issues that cause trouble around the house here lately. He seems to be coming and going at will these days. It’s all for the best of reasons. It’s all for the company and therefore for the family. Except, I am not sure that this is true. He likes what he does. He likes the people that he does it with. I can see where this would be more interesting than dealing with stuff around here. The kids, the house and even I are not necessarily the ego boost to him that we could be. On the other hand, is that what a family is for? I am certainly not getting those kinds of warm fuzzies from my household duties and no one seems concerned.

If it is a question of wanting separate lives just say so. But currently, this idea seems to involve him doing has he pleases and me holding the fort. Our family is scheduled around what the kids need and what he needs to do for the “business”. Dinner and drinks with friends hardly seems a sacrifice. But that is business. Handling chores around the house, dealing with homework or other kid-related duties, even sex with me all need to be scheduled around his fluid schedule. It’s all for the greater good of the family and I should be more understanding.

In the meantime, back at the home front, I finished steaming the fresh artichokes, making the parslied potatoes and cooking the rack of lamb. I had brownies with gelato and berries for dessert. The wine is chilling. The kids are fed, homework is done, chores have been finished, teeth brushed and pajamas are on. He entered the house at 7:30. Late again. But there was a good reason for it!

Yes, I know.