HNT-108

Yeah, it has been one of those weeks.

I keep plugging away to get stuff down and just when I am not looking BAM!

Today I was washing dishes. Being really thorough. Cleaned out the dishwasher filter (because the girls never scrape of rinse their plates because they can't be bothered) and then ran a dishwasher cleaning product to melt away whatever hidden gunk still resided in the machine. Then I started reloading the dirty dishes and was scrubbing one of the bowls that didn't get cleaned... when it slipped out of my hand and broke. Naturally, my hand followed the shards and got cut.

It is a bendy place on the body so a weird place to put a bandaid... and a weird size for a regular bandaid about an inch long and the depth? Well, I could see the dermis and into the muscle, not deeply but deep enough. I spent quite a bit of time pinching the sides together... and by this photo, it was fine so long as I didn't move. I needed to immobilize the area. So This is how I fixed it up: Paper toweling and Pre-wrap.

For those of you have never been a or are the parentls of junior highschool girls or played volleyball or a gymnast, you have NO FUCKING IDEA what I am talking about. Pre-wrap is a thin foam athletic tape used to reinforce wrists and ankles. Mostly though girls use it for disposable headbands.

Finally! This crap has done some good.

(not that it stays put very long) ugh.

And why was I self-wrapping? Cuz nothing bad ever befalls me when PK is home. But if I need help... if I am sick or hurt you can absolutely guarantee he is out of town. Although the girls did go to Walgreens after school and get me a decent box of bandaird and an ace bandage to hold it in place. That is good news, right?

By the way? How long should I watch this thing ooze blood before I go to the hospital?

Yup. it has been a great week.

Therapy

I am getting so tired of first therapy sessions.

Where you have to lay out the problems as you seem them and listen to your snivling husband tell his version which is based in some distorted fantasy that he want the therapist to believe.

Apparently, I am excessively negative and down on myself. That is a theory.

Or I am completely realistic and see life as it comes at me...

Tomato/Tomahtoe

I don't have time to fuck around with the pussyfooting. I have established where my mind is in this relationship. I am here for maybe a decade. I have no sense that anything will improve. But I will go to the therapy to show that I will keep trying. But I guarantee you give up first. You always do. I have married to you for almost 20 years. TRUST me. I have some observational skills.

You quit when someone suggests you might have to change your behavior.
You quit when your schedule get busy
You quit when you get irritated for any reason.

If you make it to five sessions I will eat my hat! Or better yet. I will start my escape fund. Fuck this shit.

Should be interesting

11 weeks and one day ago it happened.

I was pushed down and called a whore.

The next day PK said he wanted to go to therapy. And I said, "You need to set it up by yourself". Why? Because I have set up every other marriage counseling appointment. He then got to complain about the therapist. and how he didn't need fixing. Because? He is good. I am the problem. Except that wasn't what the counselors said. Not that they said that I was perfect. But they agreed that my concerns were warranted. Shocking, eh?

No, I wasn't either. In the meantime, PK has been an earthly delight. Hell! He even posted on our mutual website, which he hasn't done almost EVER, but bitches about almost constantly. He has been kind, considerate, sweet. Just to be ready for this appointment.

Naturally, we are heading to hell financially. All the money from the sale of the company is gone. Put into the house, which is still underwater and the rest frittered away by him on his need to live large. blech.

In the meantime, I guess I should be ready this appointment. Naturally, this time, I will be told how un-spouse-like I am. How I should be more supportive. and stop blogging. because relieving my stress by expressing it won't help anyone.

Really not looking forward to this.....

And if it goes the way that the other appointments have? Then PK will attend 1 or 2 before he becomes too busy, doesn't need improving, or is fine just the way his is.. and pull your ass together bitch!

In the meantime. I am afraid. and tired to being alone. and sad that I am going to have to ride this out for 6-10 more years. What if I don't have more time than that left.

Could this be true?

Is it true that the wildest thing that you do for a man sexually is the thing that he expects from every woman for ever and ever?

And if so? What was that thing that you MUST have?

(you may list whether I met your needs at will..)

HNT-107

I am participating in Boobie-thon again this year.

Why? Well, breast cancer affects everyone with breasts. So, let's take a look at my family.... I have boobs. My daughters have boobs, albeit small ones... Hell, my husband is a has boobs. (m..us..t repress... natural..inclination to make...bad...joke...)

Anywho!

So I am giving you a sneak preview of what I am offering over there... and I have noticed a bunch of HNTers over at the site!

Come by and make a donation and take a look at the goodies on display!