Sunday, August 26, 2007

I know what I am and what I want

No body has every accused me of having a sweet personality.

I am fat. I am opinionated. I swear like a sailor or any Brit that I have ever met. I can ocassionally drink like a fish. I admit to and relish in my baser needs and desires and indulge in them when I can. If you need help and I can give it to you, I will. I will put up with your bad moods because I figure you have had a bad day, or week, or month.

But

I am a woman who is tired of criticism from the people who claim to love me about how I don't live up to THEIR expectations of me.

If I say that I am staying with PK believe that is a decision that I have considered long and hard and it was made because my children have had too much tumult in their lives. I maybe occassionally miserable about it. But that is an absolute in my life. At least for the foreseeable future and by that I mean nearly a decade.

I don't want to be saved.

I don't want to be fixed.

I want to be appreciated for the flawed person that I am.

Not my perfected ideal.

My life is full of people who want to fix me so live up to their expectations of me. I don't need more.

I will take you at face value and accept you for the flawed person that you are... I want no less in return.

4 comments:

Poppy said...

I'm looking forward to having my flaws accepted.

I'll stop hating on PK, but know I'm on your side.

Anonymous said...

I'm not trying to fix you, change you, or hurt you in any way at all. As someone who cares about and loves you I just want so much more FOR you, not FROM you. I hope you can see the difference between people wanting you to be happy, fulfilled, cared for, respected, and loved versus trying to fix or save you. I know your flaws and love you in spite of them and always have.

Anonymous said...

Is it possible that your daughters' lives would be less tumultuous if you were on your own, without PK?

anna said...

I love this post. You're wonderful and an inspiration. Thank you.