HNT-40

See those wrinkles? They have been earned this week. Dealing with the preteen and her bullshit.

But I have taken control. Telling PK that if he wanted to argue with how I am dealing with the girl crisis, he could leave. He has chosen, for the time being anyway, to be supportive. In the meantime, anyway I am the object for all the preteen's anger and resentment. This week, I have been downgraded from whore to whorebag. Charming, eh?

I remember when being called a whore was an indication that I was getting laid and having some fun with my lover... Now it is just a bitter indictment.

As I wandered through the week considering each day how I was going to deal with the bullshit, I realized that I need to re-focus the girl inward, since to date it has been all about clothes, make-up and friends. I thought, why not find a bindi to put on her forehead, so that when she looked in the mirror she was reminded to look within herself. Then I realized that a bindi would be a pretty, decoration that would distract her. And that she wouldn't have the cultural awareness to understand the concept of the Hindu third eye that I was thinking about. (Yes, one of her complaints about me is that I know too much and that she can't be expected to know all the things that I do...Fuck it and suck it up is generally my response... at least give it a try, jeez)

But when I was looking a this picture I realized that maybe some of my introspection comes naturally. See on that second wrinkle? That is a dent in my forehead. My mother tells me that I got it when I was two. She was waiting for a cab, after grocery shopping. She was pregnant, tired, it was hot, the ice cream was melting and I was being fidgetty... she put me on her shoulders... and I immediately took advantage and stood up on her shoulders, and then fell, denting my forehead. The end result is that scar or dent as it is...

But in retrospect, perhaps that is MY third eye and I should rely upon it more at times like this.