A card for every occassion?

I think not, or I would be able to find the one that I am looking for...

The anniversary card that says, "I am not sure I would do it again".

After years of trying to read his mind and figure out what thing I failed to do for him that he expected even though he didn't mention it I am pretty much at my wits end.

The oldest daughter, who is sensitive to moods going on around here is suffering from this crap trying to "manage" her father's tempers. I am on anti-anxiety meds as a result of them. The younger one seems fairly happy go lucky . May be she will remain uneffected. Maybe she will be the most fucked up of all of us.

But here I am on the cusp of 17 years of wedded "bliss" and I find we know each less than we did before. Well that is not entirely true. I know him. He either doesn't care to know me or doesn't like it and is pretending that he doesn't notice what is going.

I know that my anniversary festivities will include:

dinner out at a fancy restaurant
a ride in a limo downtown (so he can drink without fearing legal reprisals)
No sex that night, but will wait until Sunday morning which is the day and time he has set aside for that duty. It will be the first time in 3 weeks he will express any interest and the time prior to that was the day that I got my period last (which means he got a blowjob but nothing for me since he finds my period icky)
Flowers
Breakfast in bed (which will not be in bed but I will probably have to help cook... it is Father's Day after all)
I will slide on my engagement, wedding and anniversary rings for the occassion. I don't really wear these anymore. I don't feel connected to them. He doesn't notice or at least rarely comments on it. I suppose that is a sign of how bad things are...

Over all I am unspeakable depressed and really not looking forward to anything