I seem to have turned some kind of corner.
Suddenly this week I am not crying or considering every other moment about what I lost... gave up. I wouldn't say that I am hopeful, per say, but at least I am not dreading tomorrow. So that is progress.
I don't know why, but I woke up one morning and it was just better... The night before I had dreamed of my messed up life and those that I hurt... and they were better, no longer angry with me... and me, not sorry the choices that I felt that I had to make.
In the meantime, I have had a series of frank conversations with the Porn King. I layed a lot of my anger at him out for him to review. I even got down to the small stuff.... Yes, as much as things suck, I had to tell him that he has become lazy and selfish in bed.
But really, it felt good. Not that I believe that it matters to anyone besides me.
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2 comments:
You are speaking your mind. This makes me proud. Even if nothing changes at least the world knows *you* made an effort.
I admire your strength.
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