To talk to someone who understands the concept that actions speak louder than words...This is a subject that bothers me the most about the PK. He tells me one thing and acts in a completely different manner. Does he not realize that I can tell the difference?
I was talking to a new friend, when he mentioned that he has learned over the years to pay more attention to what people do than what they say. And I was floored.
I am so used to hearing the platitudes about how PK is going to change and how he is going to make an effort to curb his excesses and pay attention to my needs and the needs of the kids. And so used to being told that I was too cynical for not believing him. I forgot other people really do use actions to back up what they say. That it is expected even.
That being said, I got a call around the time I was supposed to pick the kids up... asking me if I could take the kids to tae kwon do by myself this afternoon. PK has a report that he is working on.... it was taking him forever. This I knew from his working at the dining room table late last night. I even helped him type some slides (make a mental note: I hate PowerPoint) Sure. I am reasonable.. I will do this.
At four-thirty, I got the call asking if I minded that he go to dinner with one of his business partners. He has had some stuff on his mind and wants to discuss it with him. He promises that this will not be one of those late nights when he comes home drunk off his skull, obnoxious, amorous and then totally useless to me the next day. He asks my permission. as if this gives me control in the matter. Which it doesn't as a negative response will just be met with complaints that I don't "support his career". So I tell him to go ahead.
As I hang up the phone I realize something. What about the report? The original reason that he wasn't going to be home on time. I call him back and ask. Just finishing it now. Frankly, now I am suspicious. It seems to me that he never had any real intent of coming home for dinner tonight. At least that is how I read it. But he doesn't have the guts to tell me he wants a night out. Why? Because he doesn't want to reciprocate. I could be wrong. What do you think?
I think that for tonight his actions speak louder than his words.
3 comments:
CHrist on a raft! All any of us want in a relationship is honesty.
when somebody goes to great lengths to play games, well, it just ain't right, youknowwhatimean?
I totally get where you're coming from. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten angry with J because he can't seem to say what he means and mean what he says. He's gotten better, but that phrase came out of my mouth more times than I can count.
And yeah, PK was being a weasel about his night out. You're way too nice. I would have been totally confrontational about it.
I think, instead of being angry about his night out, just start planning yours, and show him how it's done when the night comes. Be straight, and unapologetic.
When dealing with passive aggressive behavior, I think the best course is straight ahead.
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