Why can PK suddenly not leave me alone?A desire for my company? 90% of the time we are alone together we are silent. The other 9.9999% we are talking about household issues or the kids. Our lives together, what we hope or want... these are topics that can not be discussed. Or at least I can't discuss them.
Yet here we are.. spending all this time together... Is it bringing us together in a more emotional level? No. Are we together more physically? No I am still on my twice a month plan. Why is he with me?
Because I told him I would be taking lovers... He is spending time with me to prevent me from having time to seek out or meet with a new lover. I am not sure that I shouldn't be pleased. But the fact remains that he still doesn't want me.
And the physical wanting is as important as the emotional. Does he think that I would leave him? Maybe a young woman would confuse sex and love, but I don't. This is not to say, I want a sexual relationship complete devoid of feelings, just an occasional interlude to remind me that I am something more than a cog in the works of this family.. I understand that I am the central cog, the one that keeps the family moving. But this position keeps me from interacting with the world on my own.
I am seen only as his wife or their mother.
Not me.
Just a woman.
2 comments:
woah, and then what happens? Isn't this a universal problem?
Woah! Wait a second! Did I miss a post about this? You told him you're going to be taking lovers? I'd like details of this conversation, please.
Post a Comment