What do I need?

I don't know anymore. PK has been very sweet. He took me on a date for the first time in years and later we laughed over one of the kids social studies projects. A good weekend, over all, but I am still unhappy.

I don' t know if it is our sex life, which I still am finding unsatisfying, or it is me feeling controlled. The sex part is simple. Within two minutes of waking up, before I can go to the bathroom and splash water in my face or pee, I get the request, "Can I have a blow job?". There is not kiss, no caress, no sweet words. This is typical. I run to the bathroom. Brush my teeth. Wash up a bit in case he is interested in more than my mouth then climb between his legs from the foot of the bed and service him. He loves my blowjobs. So much, he prefers them to any other kind of sex. Of course, after he cums he isn't ready to return the favor. Now it is time to get up and get ready for the day.

As he gets up up and starts to dress, I rub my fingers over my hardened nipples, enjoying the feeling of the softness of the cashmere from my nightgown against my heated nubbins. I then reach lower for the wetness between my legs and rub my clit. I close my eyes and imagine a lover whispering in my ear. He tells me how much he wants me, that he finds me beautiful and sexy and how he will show me with his hands, mouth.... his entire body. This is what I need. What I crave.

The desire for this is so strong, that it makes my body blossom with a beauty of the intensity of a jubilee of cerise florescence....after the explosive glory, and the petals scattered on the wind until the tree was bare until the next vernal season....

Is this normal? Will this pass? Is this a natural part of a marriage?